Tuesday, December 18, 2007

The Baltimore Steroidals

"All the bushleague batters/are left to die on the diamond.
In the stands the home crowd scatters/for the turnstiles." --Neil Young

The Baltimore Orioles have nineteen current and former players listed in the Mitchell report as steroid users. After its release, the front office broke ranks with the rest of the league and made a public statement questioning the report's methodology. The Orioles played the season like they were awaiting sentencing on death row. A malaise permeated the dugout. Upper bodies sagged and balls that were once home runs were caught on the warning track. Power numbers toppled. It's time to burn sage in the locker room to remove the evil spirits. Get rid of them all. At this point, I'll take nine players I've never heard of and "Baltimore" back on the uniform. Is that too much to ask?
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